I am not sure why I am so busy these days. I thought that a full time job would be less work that my college classes, but somehow it seems like I never have time for knitting or otherwise. I'm running behind on some obligations and barely keeping up with the day-to-day ones. My to-do list hadn't gotten much shorter, even though I've been so busy and had so much....life in the past few months that my brain is going round in circles like a small child on a merry-go-round that's gleefully gone round so fast and so many times he's sick to his stomach, but he doesn't quite see a way to hop off onto the solid ground and make the dizziness and retching stop.
Maybe I don't have time because I'm always going cool places and doing cool things with the Pirate before his schedule fills up with plundering the textbooks for knowledge. Maybe it's because I have no air conditioning and the summer heat has the tendency to suck out the will to live through my pores. Maybe it's because my job takes more energy that I am used to giving, or it is really a 50 to 60 hour a week job cleverly disguised as 40 hours. Maybe it's because I'm in a holding pattern, waiting somehow for real life to begin (hint: it already has). Maybe I'm just procratinating. Maybe it's because I've had intermittant internet and computer problems. Maybe I'm just being a worrywort. Maybe I've lost my zen and need to meditate more. Maybe this IS the zen and I should just accept that.
But all that I know is that right now I'm guilty of being behind on 2 art projects for people that needed them ASAP, and here I am sitting in a hotel at a work conference in my down time with no headspace or supplies to work on them. I've re-knit this one comission shawl, my big summer project, about 4 times (but it's gonna be AWESOME when I get done with it) and I'm hoping I finally have the pattern in my head so I can work on it without mistakes in the wee-hours at the airport tomorrow and have it done for the lovely lady so she may take it and do great things.
In summary: I want someone to clear my head and warp the space-time continuum so I may do everything I want to on my to-do list. I have the sneaking suspicion the person who does this will have to be me.