Inspiration: After a While

“After awhile you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn’t mean possession
and company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises and you begin to accept
your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much so you plant your
own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn…”

Poem by Veronica A. Shoffstall

Inspiration: Bonobos

So recently I have been ruminating on hate crime and divisive politics and the more mundane question of how do you react in everyday life when somebody spouts something so disagreeably shocking it makes you hiccup as the breath catches in the back of your throat? (You know, the usual.)  It was the "how do you react" question that initially drew me in.  We live in a snarky society.  Snarky media, snarky humor, snarky one-liners to be shared on Facebook to make political points.  What's the best way to react when the snark devolves into downright meanness?  I admit it: all snark and no love can get tiring.  This was originally a post on picking your struggles, analyzing when is it worth it to speak up, and when constructive dialog possible. It included a snarky picture to make a relevant point about snark.  There's nothing like formulating a good old fashioned action plan to help you feel prepared for the next time.

As I composed the post I found that forming an action plan wasn't what was bothering me. I feel comfortable that I know (most of the time) when to speak up and when to just move forward, that I (most of the time) have the courage to do so.  small, everyday conflict I'm okay with.  It's the tolerance bit I (and society, apparently) find tricky.

What was baffling me was why is it so hard to accept another person's worldview that is different than your own. I'm not even talking about accepting the troublesome worldview AS your own, but accepting that it EXISTS and not being hateful or resentful about that fact.  I turn the problem over and over in my head, and mostly what I think of is bonobos.

Bonobos, the a little known great ape that provides science a ripe opportunity to study the biological basis for tolerance.  For more information, read this book, because the author explains it far better than I can:

www.bonobohandshake.com

The passages that fascinated me the most illustrated basic differences in the society of two great apes, chimps and bonobos.  Chimps tend towards violence.  When confronted with a stranger chimp, there is a distinct divide between "them" and "us."  "Them" is bad, meant to be destroyed.  Bonobos do not see "them" and "us."   Bonobos simply see "us" and welcome the strange bonobo.  They share and cooperate and the whole tribe is cared for.  Bonobos are amazing practitioners of tolerance.  Instead of using violence to resolve tension they use consensual sex which is pleasurable to both parties.  Humans fall somewhere in the middle with the potential for behaviors from either side of the tolerance/hate spectrum.  But we must make the effort to remember, and choose the bonobo.

--

I am also reminded of this little story:

“An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life…..He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me. It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil – he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego. The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth,compassion and faith. This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too.”

His grandchildren thought about this for a minute, and then one child asked, “Which wolf will win, Grandfather?“

The old Cherokee replied softly, “The one you feed.”

Inspiration: Art in my Coffee

http://artinmycoffee.com/

Because who doesn't like pretty, tasty things?

Inspiration: Flea Market Finds

I found some lovely steampunk, mad science, and Renaissance Faire accessories at the flea market.

The wooden clamp does not have a very good grip, but it will be a good prop and be
light to carry around on a belt.  If anyone could tell me what they do, I'd love to hear it.

"Elixer Tree of Life Since 1880" (front)
"Necater of The Golden Life of Health and Vitality" (back)

The requisite pocketwatch with gears showing (sadly, it does not work but it was pretty enough I snagged it anyways).

Tulip! 

Inspiration: Steampunk

Tomorrow, weather permitting (Dear spring weather, Please stay! <3) the Pirate and I will go rummage around the flea market for steam punk costume accessories, small picture frames, and whatever else strikes our fancy.  I have been overcome with the urge to buy wee picture wooden frames and make small, colorful paintings to go in them.

In the spirit of all things steampunk, I love the house profiled at this blog.  Awesomeness:

And now I am off to go bother the knitshop for chocolate and yarn.

Friday Hoorays and Pre-destination

• I am cat-sitting for Gary the Pinhead.  Hooray! Though our interactions consist of him hissing at me and my giving him food, I am having a grand time.  (Can you tell I am cat deprived)  Hopefully by the next week I will have figured out his favorite flavor of Friskies and he will let me pet his head.
• Free laundry and freshly washed underthings.  Hooray!
• Bright red tulips.  Hooray!

One day I will have a camera that can take a decent picture of bright red things in low light.

• The new bearded dragon Stoneface was not dead, just very aptly named.  Hooray!
• Stackable rings that come in multiple colors for exciting stacking action.  Hooray!
• My hat has finally dried out from Monday's deluge, just in time to get soaked today.  Hooray!
• I started looking for a job so I can pay rent when I move in a few months.  Hooray!  As part of the process I am mulling over what I do, what I want to do, and what I like to do.  Though I have caught several threads of my life that I want to keep, the rest is a jumbled mess because there are so many possibilities.   It's like a ball of yarn barfed up by a ballwinder that tangled everything when you weren't looking.  I keep pulling at different ends sticking out of the ball, hoping one path will obviously un-knot everything but nothing is coming loose.  I am, however, sensing a general theme emerging that is summed up quite nicely by this quote of Bill Watterson's commencement speech he gave to Kenyon:

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it's to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential-as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.

You'll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you're doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you'll hear about them.

To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.

Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming, you have the Swiss Army Knife of mental tools, and it's going to come in handy all the time.

You can find the full speech here.  I've read it at least once a year for the past four years as preparation for teaching the ExCo course on Calvin and Hobbes but stumbled across it randomly today along with a Calvin and Hobbes strip about pre-desination.  Funny how those things happen.  

Inspiration: How to Steal Like an Artist

How to Steal Like an Artist (and 9 other things nobody told me) 
by Austin Kleon

http://www.austinkleon.com/2011/03/30/how-to-steal-like-an-artist-and-9-other-things-nobody-told-me/

I enjoy the entire article, but points  2, 5, 6, 8,  and 9 reverberated for me today.